|
I met Andrew on Ave Maria and liked him right
off. He is a very consistent person who truly
loves our Faith. We met in person when he was on
a road trip and stopped off where I lived, and
then I visited him in New York where he showed me
the beauty of the Church architecture there--I
saw some stunning Churches, and had a good time.
I consider Andrew a dear friend and would hope
that the right woman would recognize his many
good character traits such as his maturity and
firmness of purpose. I also believe he has a very
good heart. -- Ann Andrew is
definitely a good catch. He embodies all the good
qualities you would want in a mate . . . he's
kind, considerate, very trustworthy and has good
Chrisitian values. He's also very smart and can
have an intelligent conversation on many
different subjects. Andrew is a good person and
that's what really matters! . . . Emilia --
Emilia
I have been a friend of Andrew's for about 12
years. He has a charming and delightful sense of
humor, he's honest, generous, a man of deep
faith, smart and interesting, and not puffed up
with pride. He is unfailingly loyal to his own.
He prays for me, my husband, and children
everyday and has done much more than one would
expect from a friend. He never misspells words,
and always votes pro-life. I wish he lived a few
blocks from us and could come over for dinner
regularly, but instead he lives accross the
country, so I don't get to see him as often as
I'd like. When Andrew visits, and then goes away,
I miss him for months. So that can tell you a
little bit about the kind of man he is. -- Beth
|
|
Andrew
Member #17270, from NY, United
States, 47 years old
Dress-up
guy in a dress-down world
The Catholic faith is a very
beautiful, consistent, logically
coherent body of teaching. I've
always been Catholic, but I find
that I appreciate our faith much
more as I grow older. Living a
truly Catholic life is extremely
difficult for someone trying to
go it alone, especially these
days when religious values are
not popular. Even Jesus realized
that it would be tough in His
time-- that is why He sent the 72
disciples in pairs and not alone.
When one would falter, the other
would be there to be strong. I'm
hoping that somewhere is a woman
who loves her faith deeply and
wants to make it part of her
daily life-- indeed, her every
decision. I long for an
old-fashioned, traditional lady
who dresses modestly but
tastefully and wants to
homeschool her children in a home
without television. That special
woman is going to need a partner
to walk with her on what is a
difficult journey even with a
partner. I stand at a crossroads,
alone and waiting for a companion
to join me on the road less
travelled. I pray that somewhere,
somehow might be one special
Catholic lady-- a fascinating
woman-- who is willing to walk
this road with me. I need only
one, after all.
|
Personal
Information |
Single
status: |
Never Married |
Experiences
in Past Relationships: |
Hardly appropriate to post
somewhere that the others
involved could read! |
Basics: |
Brown hair, Blue eyes, 172
cm. tall, 80 kg., non-smoker |
Personality: |
Introvert adept at appearing
to be an extrovert |
Nearest
city: |
New York City |
Born
in: |
Long Island, NY |
Grew
up in: |
Long Island, NY |
Also
lived in: |
none |
Prefer
to Live In: |
Suburban |
Ideal
permanent home: |
Long Island, NY (for now) |
Ethnic
Background: |
Half Italian, half potpourri |
Pets: |
lived with cats for over 44
years-- would love more, also
like nice dogs |
Pet
Allergies: |
none |
Occupation: |
Computer Consultant |
Educational
Level: |
Masters Degree (or
equivalent) |
Has
Children? |
No |
Thoughts
on children: |
I would like whatever number
of children God chooses |
Views
on contraception: |
Contraception is never
permitted. |
Views
on abortion: |
Abortion is always wrong. |
Catholic? |
Yes |
Convert? |
No |
Catholic
Rite: |
Roman |
Catholic
'Slant': |
conservative |
Mass
Attendance: |
every Sunday and weekday |
Views
on the Eucharist: |
Christ is really present in
the Eucharist. |
Views
on Church Authority: |
I accept the teachings of the
Catholic Church. |
Views
on Papal Authority: |
I accept the teaching
authority of the Pope. |
Catholic
Reading: |
Our Sunday Visitor |
|
Favorites
|
Movie Genre: |
Comedy |
Movies: |
Charade, Star Trek IV |
Actors/Actresses: |
none |
Music
Genre: |
Swing - Big Band |
Groups,
Musicians, Vocalists: |
Perry Como, Jo Stafford, Bert
Kaempfert |
Book
Genre: |
Novels |
Books: |
Power and the Glory,
Dressing with Dignity |
Sports: |
Baseball |
Activities: |
walking, writing, singing,
etc. |
Food
Genre: |
Italian |
Foods: |
pasta, bread, ice cream,
grape juice |
Places: |
churches |
Saints: |
St. Francis of Assisi |
Title
of Our Lord: |
Good Shepherd |
Title
of Our Lady: |
Ark of the Covenant |
Devotion: |
Other |
Prayers: |
Memorare |
Hymns: |
Holy God, We Praise Thy Name |
|
Spiritual
Beliefs and Values |
What my Faith
means to me: |
Everything. As difficult as
being a Catholic is today, where
else can one go? |
My views on Papal
Authority: |
Authority needs to be
understood in the sense of
"credibility,"
"believability" or
"trustworthiness" as
much as anything else. Seen from
that perspective, it is not
nearly as troublesome as the
secular world likes to portray
it. We all need someone we can
trust, especially on matters of
faith and morals, and Jesus has
given us the Pope, so we'd better
take advantage of him. |
On Christ in the
Eucharist: |
The Eucharist is the
"source and summit" of
Catholic life. It is still a bit
of a mystery to me, actually.
Nevertheless, I try to give the
Eucharist the reverence it is
due. |
On Confession: |
Without it, we cannot enter
Heaven. Since attaining eternal
salvation is all that really
matters in the end, that makes
the Sacrament of Reconciliation very
important. |
On Abortion: |
Abortion is a grave moral
evil. It should not be tolerated
and those who promote it should
be ostracized-- but at the same
time, like Jesus, we need to
extend a welcoming, forgiving
hand to those women who have had
abortions and are now repentent.
We should avoid buying products
from companies that support
abortionists. We should never,
ever vote for any pro-abortion
politician at any level,
regardless of who is opposing
him. The pro-abortion town clerk
of today is tomorrow's
pro-abortion governor or senator.
Catholics today are not doing
enough to stop abortion. Today,
people condemn the Popes and
Catholics of World War II for not
doing enough to stop the
Holocaust. In 200 or 300 years,
when abortion is once again
universally condemned as are
slavery and Naziism today, people
will be asking "Why didn't
Catholics do more to stop
abortion?" A person who
supports legalized abortion
should have just as promising a
career path as someone who
supports legalized slavery or
cannibalism.
Over the years I have often
wondered if my wife was killed in
an abortion. I have a hard time
believing in a God who did not
provide for me, but I also
understand that sin has its
consequences, so this seems like
a plausible but sad explanation
to me. Feel free to prove me
wrong, of course.
|
On Contraception: |
I fully submit to the
official teaching of the
magisterium of the Catholic
Church on artificial
contraception. I have to
underscore that even natural
family planning can be sinful if
not practiced for a just cause. |
On children,
family life, schooling: |
Homeschooling seems to be the
best option these days. I think
it is the best way to insure that
children get not only a good
moral foundation but also a
healthy social environment that
just doesn't exist in a
traditional school. Parents are
the "first educators"
of their children and the years
of schooling are a wonderful,
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
for parents to become close to
their children and develop a
deeper love and appreciation of
them. The homeschooled children
I've seen are very well-behaved
and being around them is a joy.
What we do on Sundays can form
a wonderful foundation for family
life. When I think about how, for
thousands of years, holy men and
women have set the day apart and
made it special, it sends shivers
up my spine. As I've incorporated
this into my life, even to the
point of limiting Sunday
purchases to the absolute
minimum, I've found it has made a
significant difference for me
spiritually. I look forward to
Sundays, and the break in routine
each Lord's Day brings with it.
It's not just carving out of a
busy day a few minutes or an hour
for our Lord, but the whole
enchilada. If my own little
observance changes the tone of
the day so dramatically, I know
doing this with a partner, and
(God willing) children, would be
tremendous.
That said, I am sadly growing
resigned to the likelihood that I
will be too old to start a family
by the time I might meet a
compatible Catholic lady. They
are few and far between and my
chances do not look good at 47,
especially after having been here
six and a half years. Often, I
feel the way Jesus must have felt
when He cursed the barren fig
tree. (Mark 11:12-14)
I have an excellent
relationship with my parents, my
sister, and my brother-in-law.
I've lived with my parents all my
life. There. I've said it. For
those who see that as worse than
leprosy or AIDS, we have some
nice parting gifts at the door.
Any lady who finds a problem with
that is welcome to marry me and
give me a reason to buy my own
house, for which I have a
reasonable down payment already
saved. Otherwise, to do that so I
can be even more lonely than I am
now is senseless.
|
What Scripture
means to me: |
I have read the Bible
cover-to-cover. We read from
Scripture at every Mass, and I
attend Mass nearly every day. I
guess that gives Scripture an
important role. |
My relationship
with Mary: |
I feel kind of distant from
Mary at times. I have often asked
her to help me locate a suitable
mother for my children and she
hasn't been able to help just
yet. |
Important personal
devotions: |
I have been known to wear a
Miraculous Medal and often pray
the novena prayer when it is
offered after Mass. I have also
been known to pray the Rosary
while taking long drives through
unpopulated areas. |
Catholic
activities and apostolates: |
I was a regular contributor
to the Catholic Online forums for
about five or six years. I try to
set a good example for others.
For about three years, I
regularly participated in monthly
peaceful, prayerful pro-life
processions to abortion clinics
but I haven't had as much time
for that of late. |
|
Personal
Interests |
My personality: |
I believe that I have a
vocation to fatherhood. I am a
curious mix of shy and outgoing.
The shy part is dominant; I get
that from my mother. My father
gave me outgoing tendencies, but
I find that when I actually have
to be outgoing, it is as much me
making believe I am outgoing as
anything else. I have managed to
convince people that I am rather
normal, but they don't see what
it takes for me to pull that off.
God needs some good Catholics to
"even the sides" a bit
though and I thought I would help
him by rearing one or more
children who would be on His
side. I hope to get married
before I am just too old to keep
up with young children. I hope to
find my wife while we can still
share what's left of the best
years of our lives. A question
that has arisen more than once is
"You ask so much; what do
you have to offer?" Well,
I've been known to cook. I'm
really good at breakfast and
dessert in particular. I know how
to fold clothes and change sheets
and make beds and vacuum. I try
to leave things the way I found
them. If something needs to be
done, I'm more inclined to do it
or learn how to do it rather than
yell for someone else to do it
for me-- but I always try to say
"thanks" when someone
does something for me. A friend
told me that I always interpret
things in the best possible
light. A woman who wants to make
intelligent conversation--
discussing ideas rather than
things or other people-- would
have a ball with me. I guess, in
a word, I try to be a gentleman.
Another thought that has
occurred to me is that I often
see husbands and wives knocking
one another, calling one another
names, or making disparaging
remarks about each other. I want
to try hard not to develop that
habit. I think that a husband and
wife need to see themselves as a
team-- and that means sticking up
for one another, especially in
the presence of others. If
someone makes an unkind remark
about my wife, I want to be the
first to defend her, rather than
join in the attack.
|
The type of spouse
I am seeking: |
My wife, in brief, won't
think I'm crazy. Someone who
really tries to practice his
faith is going to be very lonely
these days. I need a companion
who shares my disappointment in
what passes for
"culture" these days.
She has to be someone who is
Catholic first, second, and
third, a good mother fourth and
fifth, and everything else in the
distance. Whenever she is faced
with a choice between her faith
and some pressure from within or
without, her faith must win. She
also needs to live near me (Long
Island, New York) or be in a
position to move, because I
believe that I am not able to
move very far at this time. I
sell myself as a "family
man" and right now I already
have parents and a sister and
brother-in-law who live near me
and are my family. I don't think
it is right to put any
appreciable distance between me
and them. In particular, I
believe that children have a
responsibility to be near enough
to their parents to visit
reasonably often and to care for
them in their old age.
Grandparents also like to have a
relationship with their
grandchildren-- distance makes
that rough. I emphasize, though,
that I don't expect a woman to
abandon her family just
for me. I am hoping that if the
woman of my dreams doesn't live
near me, she has no obligations
of the sort I've suggested that
would prevent her from moving.
I've also come to appreciate my
parents enough in their old age
that I think having a good
relationship with my wife's
parents (and brothers and
sisters, if any!) would be lots
of fun, too, but it would help
tremendously if I were physically
close to them for such a thing to
blossom.
Finally, she needs to be
modest and feminine. Those
words have been corrupted over
the last two or three
generations, so I need to be
clear. If you think a guy who
craves a woman in a long, flowing
dress is crazy, then I'm looking
for someone else. If you think
that dressing well for work and
putting on jeans and sneakers for
your husband is fine, you won't
like me. (This is by way of
example; I expect to support my
wife so she does not need to
work.) But if you're willing to
be different-- if you think that
maybe giving up jeans and
sneakers would be worth a happy
marriage-- if you understand that
looking nice doesn't mean being
uncomfortable-- if you're willing
to save a lot for your husband
instead of revealing it to just
anyone who passes-- then you may
be the person I'm trying to find.
Because so many ladies seem to
think otherwise, I have to add
this: Children from a previous
marriage are not a disqualifying
factor. If you are the lady of my
dreams, your children will become
my children, and I will look
after them just as St. Joseph
looked after Jesus. (If you don't
have any children, please don't
conclude, "He wants a woman
with children... sigh.")
I also need to make clear that
I'm less interested in where my
wife has been than I am
interested in where she wants to
go. Anyone who wants to walk the
same road I want to take is
welcome to join me-- the path she
took to get here is not of
overriding importance.
If you like what you find here
but have doubts that you'll be
"good enough," you
should write anyway. When I try
to contact ladies they seem to
think that I am not good enough
for them. In fact, someone I
respect told me many years ago
that while I had quite decent
standards he feared that no one
would ever think me to be good
enough. So far, his statement has
been prophetic. Perhaps you could
help me prove it wrong.
If you have a big, warm heart,
that is important too. Sometimes
I suspect that only a
warm-hearted lady would consider
someone like me.
|
The type of work I
do: |
I have worked for a small
computer network consulting
company on Long Island for the
last ten years. I quickly became
indispensible to the founder of
the company (he hates being
called my "boss"). He
loves me to pieces, generally
treats me like a partner, and
would be devastated if I left. I
hope my wife would develop
equally strong feelings about me.
It's a good possibility-- the
founder says that all our clients
like me too. My job is as secure
as the company. We have so far
not been affected by the bad
economy and even hired an extra
person this year. I do anything
and everything that is necessary
to keep our clients' computers
running smoothly. Most of my days
are spent at clients' sites, and
over the years I have developed
some very sturdy business
relationships (though I have yet
to see a single Catholic lady who
looked to be worth getting to
know better). I have worked hard
to earn our clients' trust and
many of them are very
appreciative of that. After all
this time, many of them know that
they should do whatever I
recommend, even if it seems
expensive or inconvenient. |
My interest in
travel: |
I like to travel around the
country to visit churches,
shrines, and friends. I like to
see the scenery that God created
for us. I am not afraid of flying
in itself but I don't relish the
idea of flying alone, and I don't
know if the terrorists or the
airlines are worse. Sometimes the
airlines act like terrorists when
planes full of passengers are
held hostage on the tarmac or
circling in holding patterns for
hours on end. Flying has become
rather a demeaning experience. I
have embarked on a small project
of visiting a new parish each
week for Sunday Mass; since 1998
I have visited over 500 different
parishes. I've been known to
drive two hours or more to get to
Mass. I guess that counts as
travel. I do hold a passport in
case my wife wants to travel to a
foreign country for our
honeymoon.
Finding a good travelling
companion would be a real
pleasure. I dislike interstates
immensely-- they're so cultural.
I much prefer any "road less
travelled" over the road
everyone else takes. You also
have to be able to endure a
Catholic who doesn't believe in
speeding-- ever-- and who
believes that oil is a precious,
non-renewable resource that must
be conserved even if no one else
is making any attempt to do so
(meaning we go 55 on the highway
no matter how high the speed
limit is or how many other people
are doing 75).
|
My interest in the
arts: |
Too much of contemporary
culture is sinful or borderline
sinful and must be avoided for
our own good. However, one can
easily go to his local public
library and borrow any number of
good Catholic novels and other
books. I'd love to read a good
book with my wife and discuss it
with her as we went along. We
could start with the novel I
wrote myself and hope to get
published some day. (I'm actually
rather a creative person.) |
Organizations I'm
involved in: |
I've not joined much of
anything; my nature tends more
toward independent activity. If
my wife pointed me in the right
direction, though, I'd consider
joining some worthwhile
organization. I am a dues-paying
member of the Latin Liturgy
Association, for what that is
worth. |
Other important
matters: |
Television has almost no
place in a Catholic home and I
don't want to take the chance of
harming my children by exposing
them to it. The most insidious
message that television delivers
is that a life of constant
turmoil, fighting, and anxiety is
normal. Since I stopped
watching most television and
turned off the radio, I have
found a tremendous measure of
peace that I never had as a
youth-- and I appreciate that
peace so much that I find myself
yearning for more! The constant
commercials do the most to
disturb one's peace. I want to
have a Bible on a stand in my
living room where most people
place the television set. Some
programs are good but they aren't
worth the trouble and the risk.
I know-- what about EWTN?
We're better advised to get it
via shortwave. Usually the audio
is sufficient anyway. Besides, if
one has to pay a cable or
satellite company to get EWTN,
almost all the money will go to
the producers of trash. EWTN gets
none of it.
The Catholic Church-- and of
course God Himself-- recognizes
the value of symbols in her
sacraments. Likewise, the clothes
we choose to wear have great
symbolic significance. I wear
only dress clothes unless I'm
actually doing something that
dictates otherwise (such as
painting my house). I hope that a
good Catholic woman would be
eager to return the favor. Jeans,
sneakers, shorts, sweat pants,
miniskirts, t-shirts, and the
like say something about us, and
it isn't good. They say "I
want to be comfortable."
"I want to fit in."
"I want to be like everyone
else." "I'll wear
anything other people tell me to
wear." Then, just as I was
starting to think that maybe I
really was crazy, I found this
book called Dressing with
Dignity, by Colleen Hammond,
that almost made me cry because
it's so much on target. I highly
recommend it. I don't even own a
pair of jeans, shorts, or
sneakers-- and I'm looking for a
soulmate.
Another book I've found
fascinating is Diana West's The
Death of the Grownup. Jeans,
t-shirts, and sneakers are the
most obvious symptom of our
arrested development to me; this
book takes a close look at why it
all happened. As a Catholic, I
see a clear correlation between
the diseased culture that began
to sprout in the 1950's and the
decay that began in the Catholic
Church even before the Second
Vatican Council. I recommend this
book as well.
A third book that has
influenced my perception of women
in the last year or so is Wendy
Shalit's A Return to Modesty.
I won't say anything more here,
but if you grab a copy and tear
into it you'll see why I found it
disturbing and challenging at the
same time. It will be well worth
your time.
Yet another book that every
woman here ought to read is Fascinating
Womanhood, by Helen Andelin.
It is subversive in today's
culture, and many of you will
dismiss it (and me) out of hand,
but I think we ignore it at our
peril.
For a peaceful, joyful wedding
reception, I would like very much
to have a quiet but big picnic at
a local park where everyone,
including children, could be
invited.
I like pets. Virtually all
pets like me. I prefer cats, but
my sister and her husband taught
me how to like dogs too. If I had
a dog I would teach it to use a
box or a toliet though; even
though a cat uses a box
naturally, dogs can be trained,
so why not? I don't think cats
(or dogs) should be allowed to
roam the streets. If they need to
go outside they should be on a
leash.
I like the outdoors but I hate
being in the sun, especially in
the summertime. That is one
reason why others have said I
look good for my age; sun is a
killer. Find me a shady spot and
I'll usually be reasonably happy.
My preference in liturgy is a
reverently offered Novus Ordo
Mass in Latin-- like the EWTN
Mass. Do you see why I'm lonely?
I would, however, attend the
extraordinary form of Mass (also
known as Tridentine) if that is
what it took to attract a decent
Catholic lady, as long as it was
approved by the local bishop in
communion with the Pope. Any sort
of nuptial mass in Latin would be
a special joy.
I strongly protest being
required to provide height,
weight, eye color, and hair
color. Those are not Catholic
values! They are irrelevant
nonsense. I hope you agree.
You get extra points if you
can converse without using the
expression, "I was,
like..." I wish I could have
children who didn't speak that
way. If you hang around me long
enough my good example will rub
off on you, though-- I try to
lead by example and not by
coercion or intimidation, which
almost always pays off in this
area as well as others. I have
noticed that people do not curse
or swear around me much even
though I never tell them not to
do that; how do they know? They
know from my example. I
anticipate learning from my
wife's good example in areas
where I am deficient as well.
After experiencing the same
silence that others here have
received upon attempting to make
contact, I want to offer a
guarantee. I will respond to any bona
fide inquiry. In other words,
as long as you aren't trying to
smuggle money out of Nigeria, I
promise to reply, even if it is a
short and sweet, "No,
thanks." I'll be happy to
discuss anything I've written
here as well, even if you aren't
ready to pack up and move to New
York right away.
If you're thinking, "He
hasn't written to me so he must
not be interested in me,"
you should know that most
profiles here tell me little of
what I need to know in order to
write to someone. (Most profiles
are sorely lacking in substance,
sad to say.) I'm reluctant to
write to anyone who hasn't
indicated similar preferences to
mine. I've shared my heart and
soul here as best as I can. You
probably know far more about me
than I know about you, so that's
why the ball has landed in your
court. Grab it and run with it--
or at least drop your
handkerchief by editing your
profile if you want me to make
the first move. I'm always
looking; in particular, I check
new members almost every evening,
and I check revised profiles
every Sunday evening. Write in
your profile that you don't watch
television, are interested in
homeschooling, like to wear long,
pretty dresses, and will relocate
if necessary and you'll probably
hear from me. If you do not
mention those things in your
profile, I will have no
reasonable way of knowing that
you might be interested. I
concentrate on those living near
me when I search here, so if you
live further away you will have
to work harder to get my
attention if you don't want to
write to me first.
One more thing-- based upon
what I have seen so far, I don't
expect anyone under 35 or so to
be interested, although younger
women seem to be more receptive
to my values. Many folks seem to
see chronological age as being
critical. I don't. To me,
emotional and spiritual age is
more important. Still, if you are
under 35, you will have to make
an explicit indication in your
profile that you do not see
chronological age as a barrier if
you want me to contact you first.
It's okay with me if it's okay
with you but you have to let me
know somehow that you are
different. Also note that I don't
ask for exceptions to age
blocks-- if you have one that
excludes me, you will need to
remove it if you want me to
write. I take people at their
word-- no means no.
Even if you've read all this
and are saying to yourself,
"He really is
crazy," please offer some
prayers for me. It is lonely
being stranded in the wrong
universe with no way to get back
to where all the other people
like me must be. I wish God
hadn't thrown away the mold after
He created me.
So, are you
countercultural and ready to take
the rest of the journey with a
loving friend? Now is the time to
take the first step.
References:
What
I Did on Sunday
The
Quiz
Anti-grunge
page
Mary
Beth Bonacci: Dating Is About
Dumping
Casti
Connubii
Humanae
Vitae
Evangelium
Vitae
Rerum
Novarum
Newton
Minow's classic 1961 speech
"Television and the Public
Interest" (TV was a
"vast wasteland" then
and went downhill from there.)
Catholic
Modesty
Future
Catholic Homeschoolers
Association of Long Island
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