3 Vouches For Andrew
I met Andrew on Ave Maria and liked him right off. He is a very consistent person who truly loves our Faith. We met in person when he was on a road trip and stopped off where I lived, and then I visited him in New York where he showed me the beauty of the Church architecture there--I saw some stunning Churches, and had a good time. I consider Andrew a dear friend and would hope that the right woman would recognize his many good character traits such as his maturity and firmness of purpose. I also believe he has a very good heart. -- AnnDelete Comment

Andrew is definitely a good catch. He embodies all the good qualities you would want in a mate . . . he's kind, considerate, very trustworthy and has good Chrisitian values. He's also very smart and can have an intelligent conversation on many different subjects. Andrew is a good person and that's what really matters! . . . Emilia -- EmiliaDelete Comment

I have been a friend of Andrew's for about 12 years. He has a charming and delightful sense of humor, he's honest, generous, a man of deep faith, smart and interesting, and not puffed up with pride. He is unfailingly loyal to his own. He prays for me, my husband, and children everyday and has done much more than one would expect from a friend. He never misspells words, and always votes pro-life. I wish he lived a few blocks from us and could come over for dinner regularly, but instead he lives accross the country, so I don't get to see him as often as I'd like. When Andrew visits, and then goes away, I miss him for months. So that can tell you a little bit about the kind of man he is. -- BethDelete Comment

Member #17270, from NY, United States, 47 years old

Dress-up guy in a dress-down world

The Catholic faith is a very beautiful, consistent, logically coherent body of teaching. I've always been Catholic, but I find that I appreciate our faith much more as I grow older. Living a truly Catholic life is extremely difficult for someone trying to go it alone, especially these days when religious values are not popular. Even Jesus realized that it would be tough in His time-- that is why He sent the 72 disciples in pairs and not alone. When one would falter, the other would be there to be strong. I'm hoping that somewhere is a woman who loves her faith deeply and wants to make it part of her daily life-- indeed, her every decision. I long for an old-fashioned, traditional lady who dresses modestly but tastefully and wants to homeschool her children in a home without television. That special woman is going to need a partner to walk with her on what is a difficult journey even with a partner. I stand at a crossroads, alone and waiting for a companion to join me on the road less travelled. I pray that somewhere, somehow might be one special Catholic lady-- a fascinating woman-- who is willing to walk this road with me. I need only one, after all.

Personal Information  
Single status: Never Married
Experiences in Past Relationships: Hardly appropriate to post somewhere that the others involved could read!
Basics: Brown hair, Blue eyes, 172 cm. tall, 80 kg., non-smoker
Personality: Introvert adept at appearing to be an extrovert
Nearest city: New York City
Born in: Long Island, NY
Grew up in: Long Island, NY
Also lived in: none
Prefer to Live In: Suburban
Ideal permanent home: Long Island, NY (for now)
Ethnic Background: Half Italian, half potpourri
Pets: lived with cats for over 44 years-- would love more, also like nice dogs
Pet Allergies: none
Occupation: Computer Consultant
Educational Level: Masters Degree (or equivalent)
Has Children? No
Thoughts on children: I would like whatever number of children God chooses
Views on contraception: Contraception is never permitted.
Views on abortion: Abortion is always wrong.
Catholic? Yes
Convert? No
Catholic Rite: Roman
Catholic 'Slant': conservative
Mass Attendance: every Sunday and weekday
Views on the Eucharist: Christ is really present in the Eucharist.
Views on Church Authority: I accept the teachings of the Catholic Church.
Views on Papal Authority: I accept the teaching authority of the Pope.
Catholic Reading: Our Sunday Visitor
Movie Genre: Comedy
Movies: Charade, Star Trek IV
Actors/Actresses: none
Music Genre: Swing - Big Band
Groups, Musicians, Vocalists: Perry Como, Jo Stafford, Bert Kaempfert
Book Genre: Novels
Books: Power and the Glory, Dressing with Dignity
Sports: Baseball
Activities: walking, writing, singing, etc.
Food Genre: Italian
Foods: pasta, bread, ice cream, grape juice
Places: churches
Saints: St. Francis of Assisi
Title of Our Lord: Good Shepherd
Title of Our Lady: Ark of the Covenant
Devotion: Other
Prayers: Memorare
Hymns: Holy God, We Praise Thy Name
Spiritual Beliefs and Values
What my Faith means to me: Everything. As difficult as being a Catholic is today, where else can one go?
My views on Papal Authority: Authority needs to be understood in the sense of "credibility," "believability" or "trustworthiness" as much as anything else. Seen from that perspective, it is not nearly as troublesome as the secular world likes to portray it. We all need someone we can trust, especially on matters of faith and morals, and Jesus has given us the Pope, so we'd better take advantage of him.
On Christ in the Eucharist: The Eucharist is the "source and summit" of Catholic life. It is still a bit of a mystery to me, actually. Nevertheless, I try to give the Eucharist the reverence it is due.
On Confession: Without it, we cannot enter Heaven. Since attaining eternal salvation is all that really matters in the end, that makes the Sacrament of Reconciliation very important.
On Abortion: Abortion is a grave moral evil. It should not be tolerated and those who promote it should be ostracized-- but at the same time, like Jesus, we need to extend a welcoming, forgiving hand to those women who have had abortions and are now repentent. We should avoid buying products from companies that support abortionists. We should never, ever vote for any pro-abortion politician at any level, regardless of who is opposing him. The pro-abortion town clerk of today is tomorrow's pro-abortion governor or senator. Catholics today are not doing enough to stop abortion. Today, people condemn the Popes and Catholics of World War II for not doing enough to stop the Holocaust. In 200 or 300 years, when abortion is once again universally condemned as are slavery and Naziism today, people will be asking "Why didn't Catholics do more to stop abortion?" A person who supports legalized abortion should have just as promising a career path as someone who supports legalized slavery or cannibalism.

Over the years I have often wondered if my wife was killed in an abortion. I have a hard time believing in a God who did not provide for me, but I also understand that sin has its consequences, so this seems like a plausible but sad explanation to me. Feel free to prove me wrong, of course.

On Contraception: I fully submit to the official teaching of the magisterium of the Catholic Church on artificial contraception. I have to underscore that even natural family planning can be sinful if not practiced for a just cause.
On children, family life, schooling: Homeschooling seems to be the best option these days. I think it is the best way to insure that children get not only a good moral foundation but also a healthy social environment that just doesn't exist in a traditional school. Parents are the "first educators" of their children and the years of schooling are a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for parents to become close to their children and develop a deeper love and appreciation of them. The homeschooled children I've seen are very well-behaved and being around them is a joy.

What we do on Sundays can form a wonderful foundation for family life. When I think about how, for thousands of years, holy men and women have set the day apart and made it special, it sends shivers up my spine. As I've incorporated this into my life, even to the point of limiting Sunday purchases to the absolute minimum, I've found it has made a significant difference for me spiritually. I look forward to Sundays, and the break in routine each Lord's Day brings with it. It's not just carving out of a busy day a few minutes or an hour for our Lord, but the whole enchilada. If my own little observance changes the tone of the day so dramatically, I know doing this with a partner, and (God willing) children, would be tremendous.

That said, I am sadly growing resigned to the likelihood that I will be too old to start a family by the time I might meet a compatible Catholic lady. They are few and far between and my chances do not look good at 47, especially after having been here six and a half years. Often, I feel the way Jesus must have felt when He cursed the barren fig tree. (Mark 11:12-14)

I have an excellent relationship with my parents, my sister, and my brother-in-law. I've lived with my parents all my life. There. I've said it. For those who see that as worse than leprosy or AIDS, we have some nice parting gifts at the door. Any lady who finds a problem with that is welcome to marry me and give me a reason to buy my own house, for which I have a reasonable down payment already saved. Otherwise, to do that so I can be even more lonely than I am now is senseless.

What Scripture means to me: I have read the Bible cover-to-cover. We read from Scripture at every Mass, and I attend Mass nearly every day. I guess that gives Scripture an important role.
My relationship with Mary: I feel kind of distant from Mary at times. I have often asked her to help me locate a suitable mother for my children and she hasn't been able to help just yet.
Important personal devotions: I have been known to wear a Miraculous Medal and often pray the novena prayer when it is offered after Mass. I have also been known to pray the Rosary while taking long drives through unpopulated areas.
Catholic activities and apostolates: I was a regular contributor to the Catholic Online forums for about five or six years. I try to set a good example for others. For about three years, I regularly participated in monthly peaceful, prayerful pro-life processions to abortion clinics but I haven't had as much time for that of late.
Personal Interests   
My personality: I believe that I have a vocation to fatherhood. I am a curious mix of shy and outgoing. The shy part is dominant; I get that from my mother. My father gave me outgoing tendencies, but I find that when I actually have to be outgoing, it is as much me making believe I am outgoing as anything else. I have managed to convince people that I am rather normal, but they don't see what it takes for me to pull that off. God needs some good Catholics to "even the sides" a bit though and I thought I would help him by rearing one or more children who would be on His side. I hope to get married before I am just too old to keep up with young children. I hope to find my wife while we can still share what's left of the best years of our lives.

A question that has arisen more than once is "You ask so much; what do you have to offer?" Well, I've been known to cook. I'm really good at breakfast and dessert in particular. I know how to fold clothes and change sheets and make beds and vacuum. I try to leave things the way I found them. If something needs to be done, I'm more inclined to do it or learn how to do it rather than yell for someone else to do it for me-- but I always try to say "thanks" when someone does something for me. A friend told me that I always interpret things in the best possible light. A woman who wants to make intelligent conversation-- discussing ideas rather than things or other people-- would have a ball with me. I guess, in a word, I try to be a gentleman.

Another thought that has occurred to me is that I often see husbands and wives knocking one another, calling one another names, or making disparaging remarks about each other. I want to try hard not to develop that habit. I think that a husband and wife need to see themselves as a team-- and that means sticking up for one another, especially in the presence of others. If someone makes an unkind remark about my wife, I want to be the first to defend her, rather than join in the attack.

The type of spouse I am seeking: My wife, in brief, won't think I'm crazy. Someone who really tries to practice his faith is going to be very lonely these days. I need a companion who shares my disappointment in what passes for "culture" these days. She has to be someone who is Catholic first, second, and third, a good mother fourth and fifth, and everything else in the distance. Whenever she is faced with a choice between her faith and some pressure from within or without, her faith must win. She also needs to live near me (Long Island, New York) or be in a position to move, because I believe that I am not able to move very far at this time. I sell myself as a "family man" and right now I already have parents and a sister and brother-in-law who live near me and are my family. I don't think it is right to put any appreciable distance between me and them. In particular, I believe that children have a responsibility to be near enough to their parents to visit reasonably often and to care for them in their old age. Grandparents also like to have a relationship with their grandchildren-- distance makes that rough. I emphasize, though, that I don't expect a woman to abandon her family just for me. I am hoping that if the woman of my dreams doesn't live near me, she has no obligations of the sort I've suggested that would prevent her from moving. I've also come to appreciate my parents enough in their old age that I think having a good relationship with my wife's parents (and brothers and sisters, if any!) would be lots of fun, too, but it would help tremendously if I were physically close to them for such a thing to blossom.

Finally, she needs to be modest and feminine. Those words have been corrupted over the last two or three generations, so I need to be clear. If you think a guy who craves a woman in a long, flowing dress is crazy, then I'm looking for someone else. If you think that dressing well for work and putting on jeans and sneakers for your husband is fine, you won't like me. (This is by way of example; I expect to support my wife so she does not need to work.) But if you're willing to be different-- if you think that maybe giving up jeans and sneakers would be worth a happy marriage-- if you understand that looking nice doesn't mean being uncomfortable-- if you're willing to save a lot for your husband instead of revealing it to just anyone who passes-- then you may be the person I'm trying to find.

Because so many ladies seem to think otherwise, I have to add this: Children from a previous marriage are not a disqualifying factor. If you are the lady of my dreams, your children will become my children, and I will look after them just as St. Joseph looked after Jesus. (If you don't have any children, please don't conclude, "He wants a woman with children... sigh.")

I also need to make clear that I'm less interested in where my wife has been than I am interested in where she wants to go. Anyone who wants to walk the same road I want to take is welcome to join me-- the path she took to get here is not of overriding importance.

If you like what you find here but have doubts that you'll be "good enough," you should write anyway. When I try to contact ladies they seem to think that I am not good enough for them. In fact, someone I respect told me many years ago that while I had quite decent standards he feared that no one would ever think me to be good enough. So far, his statement has been prophetic. Perhaps you could help me prove it wrong.

If you have a big, warm heart, that is important too. Sometimes I suspect that only a warm-hearted lady would consider someone like me.

The type of work I do: I have worked for a small computer network consulting company on Long Island for the last ten years. I quickly became indispensible to the founder of the company (he hates being called my "boss"). He loves me to pieces, generally treats me like a partner, and would be devastated if I left. I hope my wife would develop equally strong feelings about me. It's a good possibility-- the founder says that all our clients like me too. My job is as secure as the company. We have so far not been affected by the bad economy and even hired an extra person this year. I do anything and everything that is necessary to keep our clients' computers running smoothly. Most of my days are spent at clients' sites, and over the years I have developed some very sturdy business relationships (though I have yet to see a single Catholic lady who looked to be worth getting to know better). I have worked hard to earn our clients' trust and many of them are very appreciative of that. After all this time, many of them know that they should do whatever I recommend, even if it seems expensive or inconvenient.
My interest in travel: I like to travel around the country to visit churches, shrines, and friends. I like to see the scenery that God created for us. I am not afraid of flying in itself but I don't relish the idea of flying alone, and I don't know if the terrorists or the airlines are worse. Sometimes the airlines act like terrorists when planes full of passengers are held hostage on the tarmac or circling in holding patterns for hours on end. Flying has become rather a demeaning experience. I have embarked on a small project of visiting a new parish each week for Sunday Mass; since 1998 I have visited over 500 different parishes. I've been known to drive two hours or more to get to Mass. I guess that counts as travel. I do hold a passport in case my wife wants to travel to a foreign country for our honeymoon.

Finding a good travelling companion would be a real pleasure. I dislike interstates immensely-- they're so cultural. I much prefer any "road less travelled" over the road everyone else takes. You also have to be able to endure a Catholic who doesn't believe in speeding-- ever-- and who believes that oil is a precious, non-renewable resource that must be conserved even if no one else is making any attempt to do so (meaning we go 55 on the highway no matter how high the speed limit is or how many other people are doing 75).

My interest in the arts: Too much of contemporary culture is sinful or borderline sinful and must be avoided for our own good. However, one can easily go to his local public library and borrow any number of good Catholic novels and other books. I'd love to read a good book with my wife and discuss it with her as we went along. We could start with the novel I wrote myself and hope to get published some day. (I'm actually rather a creative person.)
Organizations I'm involved in: I've not joined much of anything; my nature tends more toward independent activity. If my wife pointed me in the right direction, though, I'd consider joining some worthwhile organization. I am a dues-paying member of the Latin Liturgy Association, for what that is worth.
Other important matters: Television has almost no place in a Catholic home and I don't want to take the chance of harming my children by exposing them to it. The most insidious message that television delivers is that a life of constant turmoil, fighting, and anxiety is normal. Since I stopped watching most television and turned off the radio, I have found a tremendous measure of peace that I never had as a youth-- and I appreciate that peace so much that I find myself yearning for more! The constant commercials do the most to disturb one's peace. I want to have a Bible on a stand in my living room where most people place the television set. Some programs are good but they aren't worth the trouble and the risk.

I know-- what about EWTN? We're better advised to get it via shortwave. Usually the audio is sufficient anyway. Besides, if one has to pay a cable or satellite company to get EWTN, almost all the money will go to the producers of trash. EWTN gets none of it.

The Catholic Church-- and of course God Himself-- recognizes the value of symbols in her sacraments. Likewise, the clothes we choose to wear have great symbolic significance. I wear only dress clothes unless I'm actually doing something that dictates otherwise (such as painting my house). I hope that a good Catholic woman would be eager to return the favor. Jeans, sneakers, shorts, sweat pants, miniskirts, t-shirts, and the like say something about us, and it isn't good. They say "I want to be comfortable." "I want to fit in." "I want to be like everyone else." "I'll wear anything other people tell me to wear." Then, just as I was starting to think that maybe I really was crazy, I found this book called Dressing with Dignity, by Colleen Hammond, that almost made me cry because it's so much on target. I highly recommend it. I don't even own a pair of jeans, shorts, or sneakers-- and I'm looking for a soulmate.

Another book I've found fascinating is Diana West's The Death of the Grownup. Jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers are the most obvious symptom of our arrested development to me; this book takes a close look at why it all happened. As a Catholic, I see a clear correlation between the diseased culture that began to sprout in the 1950's and the decay that began in the Catholic Church even before the Second Vatican Council. I recommend this book as well.

A third book that has influenced my perception of women in the last year or so is Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty. I won't say anything more here, but if you grab a copy and tear into it you'll see why I found it disturbing and challenging at the same time. It will be well worth your time.

Yet another book that every woman here ought to read is Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin. It is subversive in today's culture, and many of you will dismiss it (and me) out of hand, but I think we ignore it at our peril.

For a peaceful, joyful wedding reception, I would like very much to have a quiet but big picnic at a local park where everyone, including children, could be invited.

I like pets. Virtually all pets like me. I prefer cats, but my sister and her husband taught me how to like dogs too. If I had a dog I would teach it to use a box or a toliet though; even though a cat uses a box naturally, dogs can be trained, so why not? I don't think cats (or dogs) should be allowed to roam the streets. If they need to go outside they should be on a leash.

I like the outdoors but I hate being in the sun, especially in the summertime. That is one reason why others have said I look good for my age; sun is a killer. Find me a shady spot and I'll usually be reasonably happy.

My preference in liturgy is a reverently offered Novus Ordo Mass in Latin-- like the EWTN Mass. Do you see why I'm lonely? I would, however, attend the extraordinary form of Mass (also known as Tridentine) if that is what it took to attract a decent Catholic lady, as long as it was approved by the local bishop in communion with the Pope. Any sort of nuptial mass in Latin would be a special joy.

I strongly protest being required to provide height, weight, eye color, and hair color. Those are not Catholic values! They are irrelevant nonsense. I hope you agree.

You get extra points if you can converse without using the expression, "I was, like..." I wish I could have children who didn't speak that way. If you hang around me long enough my good example will rub off on you, though-- I try to lead by example and not by coercion or intimidation, which almost always pays off in this area as well as others. I have noticed that people do not curse or swear around me much even though I never tell them not to do that; how do they know? They know from my example. I anticipate learning from my wife's good example in areas where I am deficient as well.

After experiencing the same silence that others here have received upon attempting to make contact, I want to offer a guarantee. I will respond to any bona fide inquiry. In other words, as long as you aren't trying to smuggle money out of Nigeria, I promise to reply, even if it is a short and sweet, "No, thanks." I'll be happy to discuss anything I've written here as well, even if you aren't ready to pack up and move to New York right away.

If you're thinking, "He hasn't written to me so he must not be interested in me," you should know that most profiles here tell me little of what I need to know in order to write to someone. (Most profiles are sorely lacking in substance, sad to say.) I'm reluctant to write to anyone who hasn't indicated similar preferences to mine. I've shared my heart and soul here as best as I can. You probably know far more about me than I know about you, so that's why the ball has landed in your court. Grab it and run with it-- or at least drop your handkerchief by editing your profile if you want me to make the first move. I'm always looking; in particular, I check new members almost every evening, and I check revised profiles every Sunday evening. Write in your profile that you don't watch television, are interested in homeschooling, like to wear long, pretty dresses, and will relocate if necessary and you'll probably hear from me. If you do not mention those things in your profile, I will have no reasonable way of knowing that you might be interested. I concentrate on those living near me when I search here, so if you live further away you will have to work harder to get my attention if you don't want to write to me first.

One more thing-- based upon what I have seen so far, I don't expect anyone under 35 or so to be interested, although younger women seem to be more receptive to my values. Many folks seem to see chronological age as being critical. I don't. To me, emotional and spiritual age is more important. Still, if you are under 35, you will have to make an explicit indication in your profile that you do not see chronological age as a barrier if you want me to contact you first. It's okay with me if it's okay with you but you have to let me know somehow that you are different. Also note that I don't ask for exceptions to age blocks-- if you have one that excludes me, you will need to remove it if you want me to write. I take people at their word-- no means no.

Even if you've read all this and are saying to yourself, "He really is crazy," please offer some prayers for me. It is lonely being stranded in the wrong universe with no way to get back to where all the other people like me must be. I wish God hadn't thrown away the mold after He created me.

So, are you countercultural and ready to take the rest of the journey with a loving friend? Now is the time to take the first step.


What I Did on Sunday
The Quiz
Anti-grunge page
Mary Beth Bonacci: Dating Is About Dumping
Casti Connubii
Humanae Vitae
Evangelium Vitae
Rerum Novarum

Newton Minow's classic 1961 speech "Television and the Public Interest" (TV was a "vast wasteland" then and went downhill from there.)

Catholic Modesty
Future Catholic Homeschoolers Association of Long Island