Are you a teenage boy being reared by your mom or your aunt? Are your whiskers beginning to show? Perhaps the time has come for you to begin shaving, but you don't even know where to begin, and you have no one to ask. This page will help set you in the right direction. Please note that while this method has worked for the author for nearly forty years, we disclaim all liability for any injuries you may suffer as a result of attempting to follow the instructions provided below; proceed at your own risk. We begin with a basic diagram of the face.
The face is broken into seven shaving zones, because God created your face and He deals in perfect numbers such as seven. We disregard Zone Zero; do not shave in Zone Zero! Also, do not shave in the greyed-out areas; these typically do not grow whiskers. If you see whiskers in any of the greyed-out areas, consult your family physician at once.
First, if you do not already have one, purchase a container of shaving cream at your local supermarket or chain drug store. If you are young, you should not do this any time in October as you will be assumed to be a vandal. Wait until November. Supermarkets often run sales on shaving cream, and you can typically purchase a container for about $1 if you are a careful shopper.
Once you have acquired shaving cream, you will need a razor handle and a set of razor blades. A double-blade configuration is the optimal one to attempt to purchase. One blade doesn't quite do the job, and three or more blades are excessive. We will not recommend any particular brands in this article, but expect to spend about $20 for ten blades. Do not purchase disposable handles; these are environmentally unfriendly.
The last thing that you will need to buy is after-shave lotion. Disregard the ads on television that suggest that one brand or another will make you wildly popular with girls. You are still too young for that as you are probably cursed with acne, which is wildly unpopular. Just buy an inexpensive brand with a low alcohol content, which will sting less.
After you are in possession of shaving cream and a razor blade and handle, you are ready to begin. Stand in front of a bathroom sink with a mirror and inspect your face. You will see that it closely resembles the above diagram.
Start by rinsing your face with warm water. Next, apply a thin layer of shaving cream to each Zone, One through Six, again being careful not to apply any in Zone Zero or in the greyed-out areas. Do not apply shaving cream to Zone Seven at this point; we will explain this shortly. You are now ready to begin shaving.
Always start with Zone One and work your way in order towards Zone Seven. This is important if you want to practice a consistent method and achieve a consistent result. Gently scrape the blade against your skin in each zone several times. To get the smoothest shave, you will need to go against the grain at least once or twice. After you complete each Zone, be sure to rinse your face with cold water. Shaving is not the most exciting activity, so cold water on your face will help keep you awake as you progress from zone to zone. Then rinse the razor with hot water to remove the accumulated shaving cream and whiskers.
Of special note are Zone Three and Zone Four. Because these two zones usually have light whiskers, one can reuse the shaving cream that was applied to these two zones and apply it to Zone Seven. Over the course of your lifetime, you will save several containers of shaving cream by following this tip.
Zone Six carries a special instruction. Whiskers are thickest in Zone Six, and the skin's sebaceous glands in this Zone excrete a considerable amount of oil. Combine this with oil absorbed as you eat pizza, and the razor tends to clog easily in this Zone. Take no more than four strokes of the razor in Zone Six before using your finger to collect the accumulated shaving cream from the razor. Then reapply the shaving cream to Zone Six, rinse the razor with hot water, and then shave Zone Six a second time to finish it. This practice will keep the razor from clogging with whiskers and oil so badly that you are unable to clear it.
After you have shaved Zone Seven, rinse your face well with cold water and then apply the after-shave lotion that you purchased. After-shave lotion should be applied to all of Zones One through Seven, and one may legitimately apply it even to parts of Zone Zero. You have now completed the process of shaving and can venture into the world, confident that you are a clean-cut, clean shaven young man.
This site is suitable for use on a mobile phone!
