One would think that locating a halfway-decent gasoline station wouldn't be such a big deal. Gasoline and the automobile, after all, are part of the American Way. Yet we find that the simple act of purchasing fuel for one's automobile is fraught with peril from many angles. I'm particularly frustrated at this point because I had found a good gasoline station that was in the village adjacent to me. It met all of my standards-- but unfortunately, it closed two months ago. Now I am left as a sort of Flying Dutchman wandering the area for The Last Decent Gasoline Station.
I have developed these simple criteria for selecting a gasoline station:
Right off the bat, the first criterion eliminates all of New Jersey and Oregon, as self-service fueling is absurdly illegal in those two states. Fortunately, I don't live in either of those states, and, while New Jersey is an adjacent state, I am able to get fuel before entering that state and always have enough to get through it without refueling whenever I need to pass through it.
Part of the problem is that any sort of gasoline station has become harder to find. While the United States still has about 196,000 stations, in 1960 and as late as 1970 it had quite a few more. Finding a station on all four corners of an intersection wasn't uncommon. Today, most smaller stations have closed, replaced by convenience stores that have lots of pumps but ultimately leave the consumer with much less choice. Allowing the Standard Oil breakup of 1911 to be partially undone, along with allowing other nefarious mergers to proceed unfettered didn't help with choice either.
The second criterion is fairly easy to satisfy these days, as most stations provide for pay at the pump. I've seen bill acceptors, but they are rather uncommon in my experience. In any case, that one's not a problem.
Number three starts to weed out large numbers of pretenders to the throne. In some areas, almost all stations trap credit card users with sometimes outrageous extra costs. At night, spotting these can be almost impossible without actually pulling into the station and looking at the pump. The large illuminated signs outside tend to have a tiny sticker reading "CASH" pasted on the sign; the word "CASH" does not illuminate when it's on such a sticker. In addition, while some stations charge the cash price for debit cards, others do not, and learning what each station's policy is can be almost impossible short of actually making a purchase and checking the price displayed on the pump after hitting the selection button.
Number four is a little easier, but as stations try to shave every last penny off the price of gasoline, inviting parasites into the station gets very tempting. But this is one where I won't compromise. I despise video content on gasoline pumps, and I'll happily drive further or pay more to stand on that principle.
Number five is where we separate the men from the boys. Paper in the pump is not a frill. A receipt is part of the service that is supposed to be provided-- and I don't like being lured into a convenience store just to get a receipt that should have been available at the pump. (One wonders if the lack of paper is a deliberate effort to generate additional sales inside.) Putting paper in every pump is part of the staff's job, not something that only needs to be done if someone feels like it. I don't want to hear a thousand lame excuses why it can't be done-- it MUST be done. Go into another line of work if you can't be bothered to do your job. If you are the business owner, start another business if you can't hack it in gasoline sales. But get paper in the pump.
Finally, the last item merits consideration. I've read that Top Tier gasoline actually is better for a car than ordinary gasoline. The problem is that by the time I've weeded out almost every gasoline station, finding one that sells Top Tier in addition to meeting all the other criteria is almost impossible. To complicate matters, not all Top Tier dealers have a Top Tier sticker on their pumps-- so one may need to consult the online listing of Top Tier brands.
There you have it. If, like me, you don't find these modest standards unreasonable, let your local dealer know that you're tired of all the games and nonsense-- and if you find a good gasoline station, don't just let me know-- make sure that you patronize it yourself, and stop putting up with all the garbage.